What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What do you mean son?

True - how I loved my mum!

What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why do some women squirt and some don't?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Do guys ever want to suck a dick even though they are straight?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

How would you feel if your friend confided in you that she is cheating on her husband, knowing that he loves her deeply? What emotional and ethical considerations would you grapple with in response to her revelation?

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

How often do you watch the news on TV?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!